When Doing Nothing Is Doing Something

At the end of last week, I was thinking to myself: I have been doing absolutely nothing all week.

And then the guilt kicked in.

But I’ve come to realise that when you’re living with pain or a chronic illness, very often doing nothing is actually doing something — looking after yourself.

So I wasn’t really doing nothing at all. I was resting, because that’s exactly what my body needed.

Despite knowing that, I still felt guilty for it. You’d think I would have got over the guilt trips by now at my age. But, no, I’ve not. I still think I should be doing more. I should be cooking, cleaning, and doing whatever needs to be done.

Redefining “To-Do” Lists

Some people have a “to-do” list with things like grocery shopping, laundry, vacuuming, lunch with friends etc etc. My “to-do” list normally comprises of “get through the day.”

We often say we’ve “done nothing” because we haven’t crossed off the big jobs. But we’re forgetting about the invisible things. Sometimes “doing nothing” is resting because our bodies need it. Other times it’s simply getting washed, dressed and fed. These things may seem ordinary, but when you live with chronic pain, they take effort, energy and determination.

From the minute I wake up in the morning, my only priority right now is to listen, really listen, to my body. I have to do whatever it needs me to do, otherwise my pain skyrockets. So if it needs me to go back to bed before 10am, that’s what I do. That might mean doing nothing all day, except it doesn’t really mean that at all. Because listening to what my body needs is the most important thing in my world right now.

I get up, get dressed, have breakfast and feed Kip most days. As the morning goes on, I sometimes work a little on my blog or chat with a friend online. Depending on how I feel, I might manage to put some laundry into the washing machine or tackle another “easy” household chore.

As I’ve explained on a previous post, sitting is causing me more pain these days, so by lunch time, I normally need to go to bed so I can lie down. And that tends to be where I stay for the rest of the day.

Am I giving in to my pain? Being lazy? No…neither. I don’t live like this by choice. I am doing what I need to do to get through the day. If pushing through made me better, I’d do it. If ignoring my pain meant I could live the life I want, I’d ignore it in a heartbeat.

But that’s not how chronic pain works.

Listening to my body isn’t giving up — it’s how I keep going.

Trying to Ditch the Guilt

I am making a conscious effort not to feel guilty for resting when that’s all my body can manage to do. I am also trying very hard to reframe what “doing nothing” actually means.

If you have to rest, because of your pain, you’re doing something important. If you need a midday nap, you’re doing that because your body needs it. On those days when you can’t shower or brush your teeth, you’re doing that because your body says no, not today. Making time to take care of yourself is never nothing…it’s very important.

Every morning, you might get up, get dressed, have breakfast, brush your teeth — all the usual mundane things in life. You might have a shower and wash your hair, something that can cause more pain and drain energy from you. Those are things that most people don’t think about. But when you’re living with pain or a chronic illness, those things are significant.

So at the end of each day, we might think we’ve done nothing. But when we look more closely, we realise we’ve been doing the things that mattered most.

Celebrate All Your Achievements

I often write about celebrating achievements, big and small. The small ones are just as worthy of celebrating. Brushing teeth, showering, combing hair, dressing….and most important, listening to your body and giving it what it needs. We need to stop framing those things as insignificant because in our world, they’re hugely significant.

If you reach the end of today feeling as though you’ve done nothing, take a moment to think about it. Did you get out of bed? Feed yourself? Take your medication? Rest when your body asked you to? Did you simply get through another difficult day?

If you did, then perhaps you didn’t do nothing after all.

✼✼✼