It can be so difficult to let go of guilt, especially if your life is ruled by chronic pain or illness. “You are enough” is a gentle reminder from me to you — and the reason for writing this post is that I sometimes need that reminder too.
We live in a world that constantly tells us to do more.
To be more productive.
To achieve more.
And to keep going, even when we’re exhausted.
It can start to feel like we’re never quite doing enough, no matter how hard we try.
For those of us living with chronic pain or illness, this pressure can feel even heavier. Our bodies don’t work the way we’d like them to, yet the expectations around us don’t disappear. Some days are harder than others. Some days, simply getting through is an achievement in itself.
Sometimes, I Have to Relearn the Art of Letting Go of Guilt
Lately, I’ve been struggling quite a lot with my back. Well, quite a lot is probably a bit of an understatement. Everything feels more difficult. Washing dishes is a huge task. Taking a shower is something I dread. Even making a cup of tea some days has been a struggle.
This happens from time to time. I go through spells when my pain soars, but those spells usually ease off. This one, however, seems to be lingering for longer. It makes me wonder if it ever will ease off.
I’ve lived with pain for over forty years, so this is part of my life. I’ve had to accept it. But even so, every now and then that familiar guilt creeps in. The voice that says I should be pushing myself more, trying harder, not giving in.
But recently, I’ve had to relearn the art of letting go of that guilt.
I can’t help the way my body is.
My pain is in charge of what I can and can’t do.
Instead of fighting it, I need to listen and do what my pain needs me to do.
I need to pace myself because my pain won’t let me do otherwise.
I’m learning to ignore that guilt-tripping voice and remind myself that I’m doing my best in a difficult situation.
And my best is enough. I am enough.
Maybe you need to hear that too.
You Are Enough
Enough doesn’t always look like big achievements or busy days.
Sometimes enough is getting out of bed.
Sometimes it’s resting when your body asks you to.
Sometimes it’s doing one small thing and calling it a win.
All of it counts.
You don’t have to keep up with anyone else.
You don’t have to push through pain or exhaustion to prove your worth.
You don’t have to do more to be deserving of rest, kindness, or compassion.
You are already enough — just as you are.
On the good days.
On the hard days.
And on the days when all you manage is getting through.
Be gentle with yourself.
Listen to your body.
Let go of the guilt and learn to love yourself instead.
You’re doing your best, and that is more than enough.
Thank you so much for reading.
If this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
And feel free to share it with your friends or support groups.
Take care,
Liz.
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You Are Enough ~ Believe It
Hi Liz,
Thank you so much for that thoughtful, honest, raw post. I think many of us continue to struggle with this. I often say to people that forgiveness is a process, not an event. I think the same is true of self-acceptance. We think we’ve done it and then we realize we have to go back and do it all over again, forgive ourselves for things that are really out of our control. We have flareups, like you’re having now. I’m so sorry things are so hard for you right now! I wish I could fix it.
In my own life, I’m having major difficulty sleeping. It will just come on out of the blue and if I’m up till 3 or 4 AM, I’m a zombie in the morning and I have to go back to bed and I hate myself for it. I feel so guilty so your message really resonated this morning. Thank you. It’s not my fault I have to go back to bed. And I will feel better about the day after my nap and if I’m not berating myself!
I always appreciate your posts. Feel better. Sigrid
I’m so glad that this post resonated with you. I think guilt is a huge factor in people’s lives when they live with a chronic illness, pain or disability. We shouldn’t let it, but it’s a difficult emotion to shift, isn’t it? I’m so sorry that you’re having sleep issues just now. That is so annoying. Hopefully your nap helped.
Take care of yourself,
Liz
PS I really hate it when people recommend things to me because I’ve tried everything and I’m sure that’s true of you. Having said that, have you tried radio ablation for your back? Or muscle relaxants? I spent about two years on a medication called Noraflex and that along with the radio ablation helped a lot. Your mileage may vary 🙂
Sigrid, thank you. No, I haven’t tried radio ablation, and I don’t know if that would be an option for me. I’ve had muscle relaxants at various times. I did eventually see my doctor last week as this ‘bad spell’ has been going on a bit long, so I have new meds to try.
Beautifully written, Liz. I have problems with this, and it never seems change. It’s much easier to see reality and give advice/reassurance to others, and harder to truly acknowledge this ourselves. The pressure to be productive, the feeling of guilt when we can’t do enough, is only part of it but it’s a big part for me.
I hope you can re-read your own wise words in this post when you need them – you are enough, you’re doing enough, it’s not your fault how things go because you’re right, your pain and your health dictate events day to day. We can keep pushing ourselves and make ourselves worse – and sometimes we have to because there’s no choice – but the rest of the time maybe we need to work with our issues a little more rather than fighting against them. Either way, we need to stop with the guilt as it serves no purpose other than to do us more harm.
Excellent post.
Caz xx
Hi Caz,
I’m sure most of us are the same. We can dish out the advice, but find it difficult to put into practice ourselves. You’d think that with experience, it would get easier, but it still hits hard. You’re right, guilt serves no purpose apart from causing more harm. We need to try harder to be kinder to ourselves.
Take care,
Liz x