How often do you say those three little words, I love you? It’s an easy to phrase to say. Sometimes too easy and unless it is said sincerely, it means nothing. People need to feel love not just hear the words. Do you feel loved? Do you love yourself?
Do You Ever Say I Love You to Yourself?
Many people don’t because they believe they’re not good enough. Their self-esteem is so low that they really don’t think they’re worthy of loving themselves. There are also many people who are so burdened with guilt that they believe they don’t deserve to be loved. And some people even consider it wrong and conceited to love themselves.
Saying I Love You to Yourself is Important
Far from being wrong or conceited, it’s healthy to love yourself.
You are good enough and you do deserve to be loved. That has to start with loving yourself.
Loving yourself is just as important as filling your lungs with oxygen every day. It’s as important as drinking water to keep yourself hydrated. You nourish your body with food and, by loving yourself, you can also nourish your soul.
Loving yourself is empowering because it will build your confidence and self-acceptance. It will also help you to find positivity and more enjoyment in life and can help you to be at peace with yourself.
Say I Love You to Yourself Today
When you live with a chronic illness, or even if you’re simply in a bit of a rut, it’s hard to think positively about anything, most especially yourself. It’s probably even more important to say I love you to yourself when you feel that way.
How can you do that?
I’m not going to suggest that you look into the mirror and say “I love you” but if you want to do that, go for it.
Words aren’t enough because you need to show that you mean it.
12 Ways to Say I Love You to Yourself
Here are twelve ways to say “I love you” to yourself so you can hopefully prove that you mean it. There are many more things you can do, but this is a good start.
1. Remind Yourself That You Are Enough
If you look for faults in yourself, you’ll find them, therefore stop looking and learn to appreciate and accept yourself for who you are.
From today, make this your new mantra: “I am good enough. I am enough“
2. Show Yourself Compassion
Your life is far from easy, so give yourself a break. Don’t put heavy demands on yourself which you will struggle to fulfil because if you don’t succeed, you will disappoint yourself.
3. Do What’s Best For You – That Includes Saying NO
Listen to your body and do what it needs rather than what is expected of you. Make adjustments if necessary so that life is easier. Ask for help when you need it. And say no if you have to without feeling so guilty about it.
Saying no is often the most difficult word to say but it shouldn’t be because it’s often the best thing you can do for yourself.
4. Make a List of Priorities
It’s time to prioritise so make a list of who and what matters most to you.
Did you put yourself at the top of the list? Did you even include yourself? And did you include scheduling some ‘me time’?
If you didn’t, you should have because you are the most important person in your life. So add your name to the top of the list and start prioritising yourself. Make time for yourself and take care of yourself because you deserve that.
5. Be Your Own Best Friend
You’d treat your best friend with compassion and empathy, wouldn’t you? I’m sure that you’d be there for them with a listening ear whenever it was needed. You’d support and encourage them. And you’d also show them the respect they deserve. So, be your own best friend and treat yourself the same way.
6. Give Yourself a Pep Talk
I often say that writing is therapeutic when you live with chronic illness. In one of my posts, I suggested writing a letter to your pain.
Today, I am suggesting that you pick up your pen to write another letter. This time the letter is to yourself.
In the letter, give yourself a pep talk. Focus on your positive attributes, all your strengths and the things that make you feel good about yourself. Tell yourself that you are amazing. Because you are!
If you struggle to do this, refer back to number 5 then write the letter to your new best friend.
7. Be Honest With Yourself
You’d want honesty from other people so give it to yourself.
Are you happy with your life because if you’re not, perhaps you can do something to make it better?
Do you have personality traits you don’t like (don’t we all have some of those?). For example, do you think you’re too negative, over-critical or do you always feel stressed and angry? Or do you worry and over-think things so much that you can’t sleep at night? Does your mouth often go into action before your brain?
Don’t try to change who you are completely but some of those traits might be making your life more difficult than it needs to be.
Change takes time and normally involves hard work (and sometimes advice from a professional), but it could be worth the effort.
8. Surround Yourself With the Right People
You don’t people in your life who are forever knocking you down because you will start to doubt yourself and lose confidence. Instead, try to surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself.
Also, negativity can be contagious, so try to mix with more positive-minded people.
9. Ditch the Guilt
So many people carry guilt around all the time and it gets them nowhere. It’s an unnecessary burden so try to leave it behind you.
10. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
People often portray a perfect life, but just how perfect is it? Is the life they post about on social media really so wonderful?
We are all individuals therefore comparing yourself to someone else is pointless.
11. Celebrate Your Achievements
Be proud of the big ones and the small ones because every single achievement is worth celebrating.
Everyday tasks might seem like no big deal to most people, but for many people with health problems they are huge achievements therefore worth celebrating.
When you live with chronic illness, small achievements are actually big achievements. So celebrate them all and be proud of yourself.
12. And Finally…Self-care
You are worthy of spending some time and energy on yourself so take some time out to relax or give yourself a pampering session.
Self-care doesn’t need to cost a lot of money. In fact, it doesn’t need to cost anything at all.
You could just find a quiet place in your home so you can escape to chill and relax. You could have some me time to watch your favourite movie, read a book or play some music. Perhaps a long soak in a bubble bath would help you to wind down. You could meditate or do some yoga or tai chi. Or you could just have an early night to catch up on sleep. Do whatever you need to do so that you can recharge your batteries.
This post by Melissa Reynolds has a lot of other self-care ideas which you could try
Please, Learn Say I Love You to Yourself
Loving yourself is just as important as filling your lungs with oxygen every day. It’s as important as drinking water to keep yourself hydrated.
You nourish your body with food and, by loving yourself, you will nourish your soul.
Please, say I love you to yourself today and every day because you really are worthy of that.
Such a beautiful post! I ‘love’ all the self-love vibes, Liz. I think that truly liking ourselves is hard enough for many of us let alone accepting and loving ourselves. It’s such a shame, isn’t it? We have one body and one life, and we can walk through our days berating and hating ourselves, when there’s really no need.
I personally find guilt to be a big stumbling block, and it’s one I can’t quite get past. It only started since I got sick and lost my job, and at times it feels suffocating. I think chronic illness can add another dimension to this self-love issue. We might be working hard to be kinder to ourselves, but we might also find we’re more frustrated with ourselves too, even though our health is not our fault.
Celebrating your achievements is a really good one to include as well. It’s amazing how much better you can start to feel about yourself when you realise and celebrate what you’re doing, even the tiny things.
I hope you can read your own wonderful words of compassion and wisdom here on the days you need the boost too, Liz. xx
A much needed read. We are all great at telling others how great they are and not to be hard on themselves, but we don’t do the same for ourselves.
Thanks for this post! I’ve been working on mothering myself as well as I mother my own kiddos. Powerful stuff!
What a wonderful post to remind ourselves of how awesome we are and to prioritise ourselves more. Number 10 stands out for me – always hard to do when you have chronic pain or illness. Fab post Liz!
This is something I really had to learn when healing from lyme. I found Inner Child work awesome for it.
I’m not sure if it’s an Australian thing, but there’s this saying people use here that’s usually to criticize people “He loves himself”.
When really.. that should be a compliment, as loving yourself is a good thing!
The writing a letter is an interesting idea, I haven’t thought of that. I found drawing good for my Inner Child, using your non dominant hand helps you tune into them better.
I love your reminder that saying No is self-love!! So important when working with less spoons. Thanks for sharing my post for self-care ideas too 🙂