Turning Sixty ~ Life, Laughter and Memories

Well, as you’ve probably guessed from the title, I’m turning sixty, and I thought I’d celebrate by sharing a few snippets of my life with you.

A Few Snippets of My Life to Celebrate Turning Sixty

Oh dear… “a few” somehow became sixty — which seems rather appropriate!

I should probably apologise, though — this post is a wee bit long. So grab yourself a cuppa, get comfortable, and enjoy.

Turning Sixty ~ 60 Snippets of My Life, A Fair Bit of Laughter, & a Trip Down Memory Lane

1. 1966

On the 15th of March 1966, I arrived, kicking and screaming into the world. I was the youngest of three girls (and still am!) — sorry, Janice, you can’t keep telling people you’re twenty-nine!

2. My Name

My sister, Janice, wanted to call me Baby Jesus, but I was named after my Mum instead. My Mum was Elizabeth, though she was always known as Betty. She didn’t want my name shortened, so I was always Elizabeth…until high school. My maths teacher didn’t like long names, so he started calling me Liz. I wouldn’t have said boo to a goose at that age, so I didn’t argue with him. From then on, some people called me Elizabeth, others Liz. I’m happy with either.

3. Fussy Eater

I was a little fusspot as a child. I think I practically survived on bananas and cornflakes.

4. Shy and Clingy

I was also very shy as a child and hardly left my Mum’s side.

Terrified of Dogs!

5. Fear of Dogs!

I was scared of dogs when I was young — yes, me, Mum of Kip and other dogs before her. I was utterly terrified, hiding behind my Mum or Dad at the sight of any dog.

6. My Fear Was Cured

One summer’s day, my Mum and Dad packed a picnic, and off we went for a day out. We passed a sign for the Portobello Cat and Dog Home, and my Dad suggested we go in and pick a dog. It was obviously planned. My sisters, Rhonda and Janice, were ecstatic. Me? You’d have thought he’d suggested dropping me off at an orphanage and picking up a dog as a replacement!

It was the best thing that ever happened — I very quickly fell in love with our first dog, Sam.

7. Another Dog

Unfortunately, we didn’t have Sam for long. The vet thought he had been badly treated before and might have had brain damage. We were all devastated. But not long after, we got an absolutely adorable cocker spaniel puppy with one white eye and one black eye. Patch became the sixth member of our family.

My Spine Decided to Do Its Own Thing

8. Scoliosis

When I was ten, I developed scoliosis. That was probably the point when life became a wee bit different. At my first hospital appointment, the orthopaedic surgeon told me it was just a cosmetic problem and suggested I eat lots of Mars bars to put on weight to cover it up! Hmm… no amount of Mars bars could have hidden my scoliosis. Now, as I turn sixty, I can testify that the “cosmetic” aspect was the least of my problems.

9. My First Faint

Also when I was ten, I was in the post office with Janice, when everything suddenly went black — and I fell flat on the floor. I had fainted.

10. More Fainting!

I developed a habit of fainting, and, most of the time, Janice was there to witness it. I usually fainted because of my back. That was during my “ignore the pain and keep going” phase. I hurt, I needed to sit, but didn’t listen — so my brain said, “OK, I’ll make you stop.”

11. A Bit Late

When I was nineteen, I had to see the “Just Eat Mars Bars” orthopaedic surgeon again, because of my back pain. His words? “I don’t know a lot about scoliosis. Would you like me to refer you to a specialist?” 🙄 Yeah, maybe…preferably back in 1976 when I was ten!

12. Sewing Machine and Scoliosis

My scoliosis affects my lower back and pelvis, so I lean a bit to one side. Clothes never quite fit properly. I don’t care about that now, but as a teenager and young woman, I was very self-conscious. So, I bought a sewing machine to take up an inch and a half on one leg of my trousers and made skirts shorter on one side so they looked more even.

A few years later, I outgrew them (too many Mars bars!) and donated them to a charity shop. Afterwards, I remembered the odd lengths and sometimes chuckle, imagining someone buying my uneven trousers and skirts — hopefully they had a sewing machine too!

As I Am Turning Sixty, I Am Remembering Foreign Languages, School Bus Trips and Squishy Bananas!

13. Foreign Languages

I loved learning foreign languages at school. I had a motive — I wanted to become an air stewardess and travel the world, so languages felt essential. I studied hard, passed my French and German Higher exams, and even wrote to airlines about my dream job. Their replies thrilled me… until I read the line about a height restriction. At six feet tall, I was a few inches too tall! Oh well — I doubt I would’ve been very good at pushing a trolley up and down aisles serving coffee to tipsy passengers anyway.

I’ve never spoken French or German since I was eighteen!

14. A Bus Trip to Spain!

I went on a school trip to Spain… on a bus! That was a loooong journey — two days to get there, five days in Spain, then two days to return home.

My Mum had packed some fruit in my bag for the journey. When I arrived home, my oldest sister, Rhonda, helped unpack my luggage. She reached into my travel bag and felt something squishy. A banana had travelled all the way to Spain and back! It wasn’t pretty.

Earrings!!

15. My Earring Collection

In my early twenties, I had an abundant collection of earrings — I’m talking hundreds of pairs! My earrings were special: birds, animals, watches, flowers, sweets, Rubik’s cubes…

16. The Earring Woman

My earring collection just wasn’t big enough, so I started making my own — long and dangly, sparkly spirals, Christmas trees, and snowmen. I took them to work in an old biscuit tin and sold them. Before long, I was known as “the earring woman.”

And what did I do with my earring earnings? Bought more earrings, of course!

Bring on the Fire Engines ~ I Am Turning Sixty And Still Embarrassed About This!

17. A Fire Drill

I worked in a busy health centre. One day, my boss told me that at 11 am there would be a fire drill. She warned me that the fire officer would be near my desk to check I did my job properly — as soon as the alarm sounded, I was to phone 999. The officer would stop me once he saw what I was doing, letting me know it was only a drill.

Sounds simple in theory. But the alarm didn’t go off at 11 am — it went off at 10.40. Dutifully, I picked up the phone and pressed 9. No fire officer in sight. Pressed the second 9. Still nothing. Maybe he’d magically appear? Nope. Maybe this wasn’t a drill…?

So I pressed the third 9, got through to emergency services, and explained that I thought it was a drill, but the fire officer hadn’t stopped me from calling. The building was evacuated, and within minutes, two fire engines arrived — blue lights flashing and sirens blaring. Everyone, including the fire officer, was asking who had called the fire brigade. I very sheepishly admitted it was me. My face matched the colour of the fire engines. 😳 🙈

18 “The Police Are Looking For You”

Picture this — I’m at work at the main reception desk when the phone rings. It’s my Dad. He never phoned my work.

“I’ve just had a call from the police,” he said. “They’re looking for you.”

My heart skipped a beat. Crime against fashion with those dodgy earrings?

My car was in the car park, and someone had noticed petrol leaking from the petrol cap. It wasn’t just a little leak — it was flowing like a river down the side of my car.

A fire engine pulled into the car park. I handed over my keys to a fireman, who removed the petrol cap, then six firemen tipped my car on its side to pour the petrol into a container.

It was a very hot day, and I’d filled the tank the night before. The petrol had expanded in the heat. I remember it as clearly as if it were yesterday — I was dressed in white summery clothes, wearing white shoes with black bows and… you’ve maybe guessed already — earrings that matched my shoes. Yes, my earrings were a pair of white shoes with black bows.

I’m turning sixty, but when I think about those fire brigade incidents, I still blush!

All I Have to Do is Dream…

19. Dreams of Driving Too Fast

I was driving to work one morning when I remembered a dream I’d had the night before — about getting stopped for speeding at that very spot. I quickly checked my speedometer and slowed down. Later, I discovered that a colleague’s daughter had received a speeding ticket at that exact location that same morning.

20. The Man of My Dreams

One morning, I came downstairs absolutely shattered. My mum and dad said I looked like I hadn’t slept a wink, and I told them I’d been dreaming all night. I met a man in my dream — tall, with dark hair, glasses, a red jacket, and a nice red car. In the dream, we dated, got engaged, and I went wedding dress shopping. I found the perfect dress…then they showed me the most awful shoes. And then my alarm clock went off.

A few weeks later, I met Ian — tall, dark hair, glasses, red puffa jacket, red BMW. Everything came true — even those awful wedding shoes.

So yes, I really did meet the man of my dreams.

21. Dream Cottage

A few months before Ian and I got married, we were looking for a cottage to rent. I had a dream that we found a cottage behind a wall, where an old lady used to live. Later that week, a house came up for rent about ten miles away. We had no idea where it was. When we found it, it was literally my dream cottage — and we even became friends with the lovely old lady who used to live there!

Our Feathered Friends

22. “The Egg Woman”

I’m sure it looked like our lives were turning into an episode of ‘The Good Life’ with a vegetable plot and at least fifty or sixty hens. All we needed was a pig, but that didn’t happen.

Before long, we had eggs piling up, and there’s a limit to how many omelettes you can eat in a week. So I started selling eggs at work. I was no longer the earring woman — I was now the egg woman.

23. Tap Tap

Oh, those hens! They used to sit on our living room window ledge, tapping on the glass to say hello.

One evening, I came home from work, and there they were again — on the window ledge as usual. But this time, they were on the inside. I was standing outside, looking in at them as they tapped on the window from the comfort of my living room.

Hubby’s fault, of course — and he’s never been allowed to forget it.

24. Pigeon Racing

Ian decided to get into pigeon racing, or doo racing, as it’s known in Scotland. I wasn’t too keen on them, so I used to stay indoors, writing silly poems about Ian and his doos while he waited for them to come home.

One race day, he had to go out, and I was left in charge. My task: remove the race rings from the pigeons’ legs and put them into the special race clock. I waited patiently, and eventually, one appeared, then another. I finally got four rings into the clock and took it to the club.

When Ian came home, he phoned the club secretary to check how we’d done. The secretary told him the clock had stopped working.

Then he said he was only joking — our pigeons had won 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th place.

That was the only time Ian’s pigeons ever performed so well.

As I Am Turning Sixty, I Am Shrinking But No Longer Pay For Highlights!!

25. I’m Getting Smaller

Yes, I am shrinking (in height, not my waistline, unfortunately!). Remember when I couldn’t do my dream job because I was too tall? Well, my height certainly wouldn’t stop me now!

I was six feet tall as a teenager, but I seem to be shrinking at an incredible rate. Scoliosis and osteoporosis are likely to blame — I don’t think I’m even 5’9″ now.

26. Hair-Dos (And Don’ts)

When I was younger, I used to get highlights in my hair — I loved the look. Now I have natural silver highlights, along with a few laughter lines to match.

And…I lived through the shoulder pads, Sun-in and perms era!

27. Unqualified Hairdresser

Nowadays, I hate going to the hairdresser’s, so I cut my own hair. Sometimes my fringe ends up as crooked as my back.

During the pandemic, I even watched a few YouTube videos to learn how to cut my husband’s hair. He hasn’t been back to a barber since.

I Love Scotland

28. Being Scottish

I love Scotland and being Scottish. I love the scenery, the thistles, and the purple heather. I even love the weather — because without it, we wouldn’t have our gorgeous green hills and misty glens.

I love tartan and tweed, and I do like to see a man in a kilt.

Our food is delicious. Most people have heard of haggis, but you might not know about some of our other Scottish delicacies: Mother’s Pride plain loaves, morning rolls, Lorne sausages, Scotch pies, cullen skink, tattie scones, clootie dumpling, and tablet.

(And in case you’re wondering, I have never eaten a deep-fried Mars bar in my life, and I don’t know a single Scottish person who has.)

Then there’s our national drink — whisky. And our other national drink — Irn-Bru. And our water? The best in the world.

We have fantastic little haggis creatures and the most lovable monster called Nessie. And the best bit about Scotland — our national animal is the unicorn. 🦄

29. Scots Language

A lot of people might think the Scottish language is just a regional dialect — but they’re wrong. Scots is a recognised language in its own right. And let me tell you, we have some of the best words on the planet like wheesht, shoogly, haver, dreich, blether, numpty and glaikit.

I often try to play them in Scrabble and get fair scunnered when the Scrabble Gods don’t think they’re real words.

Some Things I Love – From Water to Watercolours

30. Water

My favourite drink is water, straight from the tap. As I said earlier, Scottish water is the best in the world.

We’ve lived in three different houses since we got married, and we’ve never had mains water in any of them. Our water has always come from a spring on the hill. It’s delicious.

31. My Puzzle Obsession

I love puzzles that make my brain work. Scrabble, Sudoku, Wordle, jigsaws…I have way too many games apps on my phone.

32. I Love to Sing

Yes, I love to sing. However, I can’t. But if turning sixty has taught me anything, it’s to do it anyway. The hills around me are often alive with the sound of my singing! Poor Ian…

33. Speaking of Hills Being Alive…

The Sound of Music…it’s my all-time favourite film.

34. Charity Shops

I don’t often go shopping, but when I do, you’re most likely to find me in a charity shop. I love a bargain!

35. Creativity After Work

I had to retire from work due to my back when I was twenty-eight. People often asked, “But what do you do all day?” I rested my back, letting myself do what it needed me to do.

But I also read a lot, wrote, and worked on tapestries and cross-stitch. In my early thirties, I began attending an art class and fell in love with a new hobby. I began sketching with pencils, then moved on to painting with oils, and later taught myself watercolours. Nowadays, I draw using coloured pencils.

It’s not always easy because of my pain — just a few minutes here, and there might be all I can manage — but I love drawing.

Food Glorious Food

36. Fussiness

I mentioned earlier that I was a fussy eater as a child. I gradually ate more foods as I grew older, but I still hated a lot. Red peppers were the turning point.

Ian and I met an Italian couple foraging mushrooms near our house. They invited us to dinner at their home in Edinburgh. They had prepared a delicious meal, including roasted red peppers. I politely declined because I didn’t like them.

The man looked at me and said, “I don’t mean to be rude, but have you actually tried them?” Oh my goodness — how embarrassing! I had never tried them in my life.

I tried them. They were more than delicious. From that day on, I decided I should try things before saying I don’t like them.

37. Yakety Yak — I’m a Silly Yak

In 2018, I was diagnosed with coeliac disease. Ian and I went straight from the hospital to the supermarket to stock up on gluten-free food. He was just as determined as me to make sure I didn’t miss out on my favourite foods.

There was one thing I couldn’t find — gluten-free Lorne sausage. Oh, how I missed that! But Ian, the best husband in the entire world, tinkered with recipes until he had the most delicious gluten-free Lorne sausage.

Oh my goodness, I’m drooling just thinking about them. They’re actually better than any Lorne I’ve ever eaten.

38. My Cooking

I’m not a bad cook… especially if you like a few burnt bits! 😆

When we were first married, I was baking biscuits one day. Ian came into the kitchen and said he was nipping to the local shop about ten minutes away. I decided to go with him.

Sitting in the car five minutes later, I suddenly screamed, “The biscuits are in the oven!!” 😳

We rushed home — they were black and smoking and were quickly tossed out the window. Even the hens didn’t eat them!

39. Easy No-Bake Goodies

I have a sweet tooth, and I love home-baked treats. But with my track record, it’s sometimes better to make no-bake goodies. Truffles, fifteens, and rocky road bars are my favourites — and they’re easy to make, especially when dealing with pain.

Best of all? No smoke alarms required! 😂

40. Baking Surprises

Despite a few burning disasters, I do love to bake when my pain allows — though sadly, that’s not too often these days. When I do, Ian is always on hand to help.

I like to experiment, but I rarely write down what I do, so when I invent an amazing recipe, I can never recreate it. 🍰

Church Isn’t For the Faint-hearted

41. Oops…

When I was 24, I went to church one Sunday morning. My Mum and Dad were on holiday, and I had arranged to meet my Papa there.

As we stood up to sing the first hymn, the muscles in my back went into a spasm. I was stuck halfway between sitting and standing. I felt faint but tried to ignore it, breathing my way through the hymn in the hope it would ease off. It didn’t.

I told my Papa I wasn’t feeling well and left him sitting there while I hobbled to the toilets. It was a struggle to walk — I must have looked ghastly. I managed to get through to the hallway, then slid down a wall as I fainted. In the process, I knocked a huge fire extinguisher off the wall, along with a gigantic chunk of plaster. 😳

After that episode, I reserved church for weddings and funerals only.

42. Wedding Vows

During my wedding vows, I giggled… and yes, it was Ian’s fault. It was at the “sickness and health” part — he made a funny face, and I couldn’t help myself. He knew exactly what he was getting into, marrying a girl with a wonky back. I guess that’s love! 💕

Winning Competitions

43. I’m a Published Author (Kind Of…)

44. Fortieth Birthday

I mentioned earlier how much I enjoy online games. Well, 20 years ago, Ian and I both played online poker — and Ian won a competition!

The prize? A day at the Cheltenham Festival on the 15th of March and a night’s stay in a gorgeous five-star hotel, along with some spending money. Not a bad way to celebrate turning forty! 😄

45. Another Prize

I also got lucky in the year of our silver wedding anniversary! I entered my email into a prize draw — convinced it was a con — and I won!

The prize was a night at the fabulous Old Course Hotel in St Andrews. There was no specific date, so I booked it for our anniversary. Five-star luxury again.

Turning Sixty Brings A Little Nostalgia

46. Prices!

As I turn sixty, I can only say that food prices shock me! I remember buying a packet of crisps for two and a half pence when I was a wee girl. Now, a packet of crisps is almost a luxury item.

Bread… a good loaf was 12p — now it’s more than ten times that. And if that bread needs to be gluten-free… oh, don’t even get me started!

47. Dad’s First Car

I remember Dad passing his driving test and buying the first family car — a dark brown Singer Vogue with silver chrome trim. The registration? LGB 413E.

I’m turning sixty, and I can still remember that — but I couldn’t tell you the registration of our current car!

48. Black and White Television!

When I was wee, we had a black and white television. It was the Andy Pandy and Looby Loo era! There were three channels — BBC1, BBC2, and ITV.

49. The Local Phone Box

We didn’t have a phone in the house until I was about six years old. Back then, if you wanted to make a call, it cost two pence at the local phone box.

50. First Computer, First Video Call

I was in my thirties when Ian and I got our first computer — a big old desktop with no internet connection yet. We played Solitaire and Minesweeper, and I wrote poems on it, saving them on floppy discs.

A few years later, we joined the online world and discovered Skype. Suddenly, we could see and chat with my family in California! We brought my Papa to our house so he could talk to them too — my aunt was his youngest daughter.

When the call ended, my Papa looked straight at the computer and said, “Thank you.”

Turning 60 ~ Thinking of The Sad Times, The Happy Times and The Lessons

51. Grand Memories

Thinking about my Papa always brings back happy memories of my grandparents. They taught me so much — from learning to bake, to playing cards, dominoes, and Scrabble.

My Papa… what a man he was! He did handstands, dived off the top dale at the swimming baths, and had endless conundrums to amuse us. He even played Santa Claus. My Papa was everyone’s Papa, and I feel so lucky to have grown up surrounded by his and both of my Grans’ love.

52. My Mum and Dad

I couldn’t have asked for better parents. They were married for over 51 years and meant the world to each other.

We lost my Mum in 2009 to kidney cancer. She had always been fit and healthy until that year when she fell unwell. From her diagnosis to her passing, we only had a few weeks, and I spent most of that time with her.

Although those weeks were the hardest of my life, they were also some of the most special. My Mum and I shared many quiet moments, and she kept telling me she was proud of me. I sometimes feel lucky to have had that time with her.

In 2020, we lost my Dad. It was during the pandemic, with so many restrictions, so it was a strange time. My Dad was in hospital, and I couldn’t visit. But at the very end, I was allowed to be with him along with my sister. That made saying goodbye slightly easier to bear, though it was still a very strange time.

53. Happier Memories

I still miss my Mum and Dad every day, of course, but when I think of them now, it’s mostly the happy moments that come to mind. Those memories are what I hold on to. Their children were everything to them — all they wanted was for us to be happy.

I remember day trips to the seaside, paddling in countryside streams, always with a picnic packed in an old biscuit tin. I can still smell my Mum’s treacle pancakes and almost taste my Dad’s sherry trifle.

54. Extended Family

My memories are also full of happy times spent with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We were a close family, despite there being hundreds, and even thousands, of miles between some of us.

Pawprints and Hair

55. Pets – Our Furry Family

Ian and I didn’t have children, but we’ve always had pets to fill our home and hearts with love…along with hair and paw prints.

Now we have Kippy girl, our gorgeous wire-haired Vizsla, who’s a velcro dog. She may bankrupt us one day with vet bills due to her allergies, but we love her to bits.

I’m Not Complaining About Turning Sixty!

56. I’m Not Really a Complainer, But…

I accept a lot in life — my back pain, my trigeminal neuralgia, my greying hair, my laughter lines — but… if something isn’t right, I have been known to write to companies to complain.

Once, my tinned peaches were hard, so I wrote to the company and said, “The man from Del Monte, he said yes, when he should have said no.” I received a £15 voucher.

Another time, I wrote to a well-known soup company to ask why they’d discontinued their Mediterranean tomato soup. A few days later, I received a phone call from a very confused lady. Apparently, they had never made Mediterranean tomato soup — I’d got my manufacturers mixed up! She saw the funny side and sent me vouchers and recipe cards!

I’m Turning 60 And I’m Still Smiling! 🙂

57. What would life be like without laughter?

Living with pain isn’t easy, but laughter is like therapy. I’m married to a man whose goal in life is to make me laugh every single day. On my worst days, he still tries — and normally succeeds.

Although I have to admit, I’m not always grateful…I mean, try laughing when you’re nursing cracked ribs or your face is in pain! 😄

58. Patience, Resilience and Acceptance

I suppose turning sixty has made me look a little bit inwards. There might be a lot wrong in my life, but there’s also a lot right. I think I have patience and resilience, and I accept my situation.

59. Say Cheese!

I’m a big believer in the power of a smile. It doesn’t mean everything’s perfect — it just means I’m choosing to find a little light, even on the dullest days.

A smile can also make someone else’s day better. And the best bit — smiles are contagious. If you give one, you normally receive one in return.

60. Eyes Wide Shut

Talking of Say Cheese…I have a long history of closing my eyes when getting my photo taken. My only school group photo? Eyes closed. Wedding photos? Eyes closed. Random family gatherings? You guessed it.

Stand Tall, Stand Proud

My Papa used to say that to me — Stand Tall, Stand Proud.

Now, as I’m turning sixty, I think about how important those words still are. I might not be quite as tall as I once was, but I still stand tall and proud.

I’ve had sixty years of life, love, and laughter… as well as a fair share of challenges. I’ve faced them, learned from them, and I’ve mostly done it with a smile. So, I will continue to stand tall and proud.

I’m Wishing I Were Turning Forty, Not Sixty

Thanks for sticking with me through all 60 snippets. You’re probably wishing it were my fortieth birthday instead — there would have been a lot less to read! And I must admit… I also wish I were turning forty instead of sixty. 😂

After writing all that, I don’t think I have enough puff left to blow out candles! Probably best not to have candles anyway — no risk of needing yet another fire engine.

Thank you so much for reading.
As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

Now…where’s the cake?