Does The Spoon Theory Explain Your Life With Pain?

Most chronic illness sufferers are familiar with The Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino. Christine uses spoons to explain how her energy is affected by lupus. I think the Spoon Theory explains life with chronic pain or chronic illness well but it misses a couple of points that are important for healthy people to understand.

Christine gave her friend twelve spoons and told her that those spoons represent the energy she has each day. Each spoon could be used to complete a task. That meant using one spoon to get out of bed, another spoon for showering, another for breakfast and so on. It wasn’t long before there were no spoons left. By that stage, Christine explained that she would be completely out of energy. The spoon theory helped her friend to understand Christine’s life.

The Reality of the Spoon Theory

In the Spoon Theory, Christine explains that she always wakes up with twelve spoons. Those twelve spoons are distributed throughout the day in very basic tasks. But, in reality, it’s not quite as straightforward as that.

The Reality of the Spoon Theory – People Don’t Always Wake Up With 12 Spoons

Life with a health condition is unpredictable. Spoons are unpredictable too.

When living with chronic pain or a chronic illness (including many mental health illnesses), people don’t always wake up with twelve spoons. Some mornings they might wake up with only six spoons to see them through the whole day. Sometimes even less.

Spoons Vanish For No Reason

You know how teaspoons seem to mysteriously disappear from your cutlery drawer? Well, spoons can mysteriously disappear from life too.

People often wake up with 12 spoons then, suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, they disappear. They might be thinking they’re having a better day so consider doing some cooking or crafting. But by the time they’re about to start, the spoons have gone. They’ve just vanished and their plans have to vanish too.

The Reality of the Spoon Theory – Not Many Activities Only Cost One Spoon

Some activities might cost one spoon, but many don’t. Many cost more than that.

A shower rarely costs one spoon for people with a chronic illness or chronic pain. It might be the most exhausting thing they do all day. It might use up two of the daily allowance of spoons, maybe even three or more.

Cleaning teeth or brushing hair sound like everyday tasks which are so trivial that they shouldn’t cost a spoon at all, but, very often, they do. Preparing a very simple meal and eating it could cost more than one spoon. Preparing and cooking a full dinner could use several spoons.

Spoons Vary Every Day

One day, a shower might cost two spoons but the following day that same shower might use five. Spending an enjoyable half-hour on a craft project today might cost two spoons. Tomorrow, it could cost six. Life can be difficult to plan because those spoons vary every day.

The Reality of the Spoon Theory – What Happens When People Run Out of Spoons?

Just doing normal everyday tasks might use up every spoon by mid-morning. When people run out of spoons they might still need to keep going because it’s not always possible to just stop and go to bed for the rest of the day. Basic household chores still need to be done. Dinner needs to be cooked and eaten. Some people work or they might have families to take care of.

People can’t just say, “I’m out of spoons so I can’t do anything else.” They also can’t miraculously pull a spare spoon out of thin air.

So they push their limits. They often push themselves to breaking point knowing that they will pay for it later. There definitely won’t be 12 spoons the next morning but they will have to manage somehow. They have no other option.

When people keep pushing their limits, they become drained and will eventually crash. Over the next few days, or even weeks, the spoons will be sparse or possibly non-existent.

Nothing is Straightforward

There’s nothing straightforward about living with a chronic health condition.

Living with a chronic health condition is hard and people always need to make choices about how to use their spoons. On the mornings when they don’t wake up with all twelve spoons, the choices are more difficult. To shower or not to shower? They can’t consider meeting a friend for coffee. They definitely can’t contemplate shopping. There are no spoons going spare to use for a hobby. Even reading a few pages of a book would cost spoons that they might not have.

On bad days people might wake up with two spoons to last the whole day. Then what? Those are the days when they can barely muster the energy to wipe the sleep from their eyes. They struggle to crawl out of bed to go to the toilet. They’ve used their spoons before the day has even begun.

In an ideal world, people should be able to save spoons in the same way that they can save money for a rainy day. But it doesn’t always work like that. They can plan, pace and rest but if they only use ten spoons one day, it doesn’t mean that they will wake up with an extra two spoons the following morning.

If only life with a chronic health condition was as simple as using one spoon per task. If only people could start every day with a guaranteed number of spoons that they could rely on. But they can’t. Their lives aren’t as straightforward as that.

My Spoons

This is the reality of the spoon theory for me on a fairly ‘normal’ pain day. (On a bad pain day, I would have fewer spoons and every activity would use more.)

• Mornings are difficult. I stretch in bed to try to get moving. I slowly get out of bed and walk to the toilet = 1 spoon
• Organise and eat a simple breakfast = 1 spoon
• Have a shower, wash my hair, brush my teeth = 3 spoons
• Get dried, towel dry and comb my hair = 2 spoons
• Get dressed = 1 spoon

I’ve already used 8 spoons. That shower has tired me out and it’s only mid-morning. But I have things that I need to do. I’m tired and sore and when I’m tired and sore, it’s hard to concentrate so simple tasks might use more spoons than normal.

• Deal with some household paperwork = 2 spoons
• It’s lunchtime – I make and eat sandwich and have a cuppa = 1 spoon
• Wash breakfast and lunch dishes = 1 spoon

What Went Wrong?

I paced myself and rested between each activity but I’ve used all 12 spoons by 1 o’clock in the afternoon. Now what? I might have a snooze. I might work on a blog post or scroll through social media. Blog posts are difficult when I’m tired because I can’t concentrate. Thank goodness for spellcheck! Also, thank goodness that I have a husband who likes to cook because he’ll make dinner. But I might try to push myself to do other things.

I know that I won’t have 12 spoons tomorrow. But I’ll cope with tomorrow when it comes. I will make choices. Having a shower will eat up too many spoons. I will probably try to have a restful day in the hope that I will have 12 spoons the following day. But, chronic pain is so unpredictable that life doesn’t always work out that way.

Now that I’ve explained that, I can confirm that I have run out of spoons.