“There are no words” – I’ve often heard that phrase over the last few weeks. It’s a true saying because, sometimes, there really are no words to explain how you feel.
At the end of August, my husband and I both lost our Dads within two days of each other. They were both elderly, not in the best of health, but it still came as a huge shock to us.
My Dad had been in hospital but we expected him to get home. He didn’t have COVID-19, but due to the virus, restrictions were in place at the hospital, therefore, I couldn’t visit him.
While my Dad was in the hospital, my husband’s Dad suddenly took ill one day and was also admitted. He had pancreatitis which had caused sepsis. He passed away in the early hours of Thursday the 27th of August.
The following day, we discovered that my Dad was seriously ill. Then my sister received a phone call at 3am on Saturday the 29th of August asking her to go to the hospital as his condition had deteriorated. Thankfully, the hospital allowed me to go too.
On the journey to the hospital, all I could do was hope that we could get there in time. I hoped that he wasn’t in pain and I hoped he would know we were there. When we arrived, my Dad was in a deep, peaceful sleep and passed away at 5.45am. I don’t know if he knew we were there. I can only hope that he did.
Both of their funerals have had to take place with restrictions due to the pandemic, meaning that no more than twenty people could attend. People who wanted to be there to pay their respects, couldn’t. The seating arrangements inside the crematorium had to be arranged to suit social distancing and, of course, nobody is supposed to hug each other just now. But how could I not hug my mother-in-law, my sisters or other close family members? It’s human nature.
People have been expressing their sympathy but always add that there are no words to explain how they really feel. They believe their words seem inadequate. But their words aren’t inadequate at all. I understand the thought behind them. Even if they say nothing and just look at me with thoughtful caring eyes, I understand what they’re trying to say. Sometimes, no words at all are absolutely fine.
It’s still hard to take in that we have both lost our Dads so unexpectedly in such a short space of time.
I live with physical pain every day, but the emotional pain of losing a parent (at any age) exceeds any physical pain. I lost my Mum almost eleven years ago. Now, after losing my Dad, there is a void which I can’t even begin to explain. I know that time will help, but I also know that life will always be different from now on.
I’m so very sorry for your (and your Husband’s) tremendous loss. ❤️
Oh Liz, I’m so sorry for both your losses. It’s so hard to lose those we love, especially our parents. I hope you’re able to take comfort in the love and good memories you all shared. Sending love and hugs your way sweet friend.
I wish there were a way to make the pain less awful, but I don’t think there is. I can’t imagine losing a parent, and I’m very close to both of mine. It sounds hollow to say, but you are an incredibly kind and compassionate yet tough woman that your mum and your dad must have been immensely proud of. For both you and your husband to lose a father like this seems beyond cruel. Please know I and all your readers are thinking of you both. Sending love 🌹
xxxxxx