I want to wish all my readers a very merry Christmas, but I’d also like to make a request. In my post about reducing the cost of Christmas gifts, I suggested an alternative gift – the gift of time. Please consider giving this gift to people you care about this year.
The Gift of Your Time Could Mean the World to Someone
Sadly, this time of year isn’t always a time of joy for everyone. It can be a sentimental time when people remember those they have lost and, for many people, it can be the loneliest time of the year. I hope that this Christmas we can all think of each other and show compassion to everyone.
The gift of your time could make a difference to someone. Your visit, your invitation, a short phone call or even just a few kind words on an online support group could mean the world to them. The gift of your time could be better than any gift with a monetary value.
Please, give people the gift of your time during this festive season.
Loneliness and Losses at Christmas
I’ve written before about loneliness which can be felt by chronic illness sufferers. But many people, young or old, male or female, healthy or otherwise can suffer from loneliness. At Christmas, that loneliness can feel worse because the emphasis tends to be on families. But not everyone has a family.
Christmas can be an overwhelmingly emotional and sentimental time when we remember people we’ve lost. Happy memories are always wonderful to hold on to. We cherish them. But when the loss is recent, people feel too raw to focus on good times. Or if the anniversary of a loss is around Christmas, people don’t always feel like celebrating.
How to Help People who are Lonely or Grieving at Christmas
Give them the gift of your time. Call them, send them an email, chat on skype or Facetime them. Try to make them feel included and wanted. Visit them and take some food which you could enjoy together. Offer to take them shopping before Christmas or go to a Christmas event together. If you could fit an extra person around the table, you could invite them to your home for Christmas dinner.
If someone has recently lost a loved one, they might prefer to stay at home, on their own. They might want to cancel Christmas or they might choose to spend the day with family and go through the motions.
There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, so people need to do it their way, in their time and at their own pace. They’ll join festivities if and when they feel ready. Until then, just let them know you’re there to offer friendship and support.
Allow for tears to flow and allow for silence. Don’t expect too much from them. If they’d rather stay at home, don’t push them to spend the day with you. Don’t force anything on them. Allow them to do Christmas their way.
Some People Choose to be Alone at Christmas
Many people don’t celebrate Christmas and some who do celebrate it, prefer to be alone. People should always do what’s right for them.
If you’ve invited someone to join you for Christmas but they tell you they prefer to be alone, don’t push them to do otherwise. Respect their choice.
What to Do if You’re Down and Lonely at Christmas
If you are feeling low during Christmas, try to remember that it’s just one day. Lots of other people feel the same way as you and just want the season to be over. Try not to get stressed about it.
If you feel very depressed, please do contact a helpline like the Samaritans. There is always someone to talk to.
I know it’s not easy sitting at home alone when you think everyone else is having fun. But there are a few things you can do.
Be Kind to Yourself
If you are at home alone, plan a special day for yourself. Pamper yourself. Play music. Plan nice food, nice treats, and schedule programmes or movies to watch. Be kind to yourself – you’re worth it.
Reach Out
Tell your family or friends how you’re feeling. Most people have kind hearts, but if they don’t know how you’re feeling, they won’t know how to help you.
Be honest with people. If your health prevents you from taking part in a Christmas celebration, explain that and try to figure out if you can maybe still be involved, even if only for an hour or two rather than the whole day. If you’re unable to see them in person, talk to your family on the phone, via Skype or Facetime.
Get Together With Others
If you know of other people who are alone, perhaps you could arrange a get-together. Play music, eat nice food and have fun. Everyone could bring food or snacks. The food doesn’t need to be elaborate – it’s the company that is important.
Community Events and Volunteering
Find out if there are any local community-based events on Christmas Day. You might be able to attend a Christmas lunch or if you are able, you could volunteer to help.
Centres which provide meals for homeless are normally desperate for volunteers, especially at Christmas. Or you could bring hospital patients some cheer by visiting on Christmas day.
Community centres or churches in your area might know of local events or volunteering opportunities. This website shows some community events which tackle loneliness amongst older people. Crisis in the UK (helping homeless people) has a page looking for volunteers over the Christmas period.
#joinin on Twitter
Sarah Millican is a comedian from England, who for the last few years has promoted the “join in” hashtag on Twitter every Christmas. If someone is on their own, feeling lonely or down, they can join in with the conversation on Twitter. Being able to talk to someone can and does make a difference.
Tweet a message on Twitter along with #joinin and someone will chat.
If you’re enjoying Christmas and you have a few spare minutes, please also use #joinin on Twitter to say hello. Be that person who makes a difference to someone by having a quick chat.
Online support groups
Most chronic illness sufferers are members of online support groups. Those groups don’t normally close down just because it’s Christmas. So if you’re feeling down, have a chat with someone there. The good thing is that most groups are global, therefore no matter what time it is, there’s nearly always someone online.
If you are a member of a support group on social media, if you can, take a few minutes out of your day to chat with people. Someone there might be lonely and a few minutes of your time could help get them through the day.
The Gift of Your Time is a Special Gift
Giving the gift of your time, even if it’s just five minutes out of your day, really can make a difference to someone. I’ll be at home with my husband, but I will try to spend some time online on my support group and on Twitter.
Take care of yourself, pace yourself, don’t get stressed, but most of all, I hope you can enjoy yourself this Christmas.
Christmas is definitely one of those times of year where people without anyone can be lonely. It’s tough to see everyone celebrating when you’re by yourself. I love the concept of volunteering. We’ve done food shelter work before at our church and it really is a heart warming thing to see. Just talking to someone can go so far for many
Christmas can be a really lonely time of year, especially if you’ve lost a loved one. This is really good advice to reach out to others who are on their own over the festive season.
Time really is priceless, and such a precious gift. Loneliness at Christmas is painfully sad, I really do feel for those on their own. You can feel lonely even when around others, too. Great tips and suggestions and such a fantastic reminder to be kind to others and to ourselves ♥
Caz xx
I hadn’t heard about the #joinin hashtag on Twitter before, but I love the idea of using social media to connect people that may not otherwise have the opportunity to reach out to others for a variety of reasons. It’s a great example of the power of the internet at work!
I’ve not heard of the Twitter #joinin hashtag before – what a great idea. As you get older you appreciate the gift of time a lot more. Making memories and spending quality time with those you love or even strangers is so important and beneficial. What a great post as a reminder to us all before the big day this week xx
As you get older you appreciate the gift of time so much more. What a great post to remind us all of the importance of this. I’ve not heard of the hashtag on Twitter before. Fabulous idea!! Have a very Merry Christmas Liz and all the best for 2020 xx
Thank you for the reminder to reach out to those who may be feeling lonely during the holiday season. A phone call, an invite or a simple comment online can truly make all the difference to someone. Giving of time does not cost a penny and often means so much to someone.
There is so much happiness in giving. Whether it is time or even some small gestures it always is satisfying. Christmas is perhaps one of the best time we can make someone lonely or depressed feel good and happy. Appreciate your lovely thoughts.Wish you & your family Merry Christmas Elizabeth.
Im very sensitive to this topic, as the years go by i see more and more lonely people, homelessness, etc. and often think about how to help more specially around this date. It truly breaks my heart. There are also people who have a house but not a home, and like you said, people dealing with loss. Im so less about gifts and more about presence!
This was really good and I actually never even heard of join in on Twitter but that is a fabuouls idea! All the things you wrote above had been the majority of my life until I started taking in foster children. So I remember all too well those feelings. I also remember experiencing it again when a foster daughter I had for about half a year was sent back home by the judge right before Thanksgiving. It was like a double loss feeling. You gave a lot of creative ideas and thanks for the reminder about time.