Fibromyalgia is a condition with a multitude of symptoms, the main ones being widespread pain, fatigue, brain fog and headaches. I don’t have fibro myself, but this week I am sharing Jade Bald’s fibro story on my blog.
Jade’s story isn’t just about her fibro symptoms. It’s also about some interesting research which she has done since she developed the condition.
Pain Management Tips on My Blog
My Fibro Story by Jade Bald
Flashback to 2015, that’s when I started to get the symptoms. I ventured to all the medical experts, did all these tests and each one came back negative. It was befuddling, a formerly healthy person with no history of chronic health issues, having all these strange symptoms.
Pain all over. Poor, unrefreshing sleep. Daytime fatigue. IBS-C. Headaches. Depression. Anxiety.
I spent hours online, trying to find what was up. I felt nuts, I felt crazy. Then I came across the term: fibromyalgia. Okay. I was now relieved to match all the symptoms listed. I was in fact not going nuts or losing my mind. This was real. This was actually going on in my body and it was stress-induced.
I tried a slew of ‘remedies’ (we all know fibro has no remedy as it’s lifelong, once you ‘get it’, but one can always try to get some relief). The ‘remedies’ are limited to pharmaceuticals, stress management, low impact exercise, good diet, mindset changes, and restful sleep.
I could not work and had to rely on my mother financially. I still do…
My Fibro Story Took Me on a Research Journey
I began to research fibro and tried to understand as much as I could about the science and everything related to it, which proved useful later on.
2019 rolls around. By this time I’d settled on writing guest posts and researching. In my research that year, I discovered I was a highly sensitive person (or HSP).
Some Quick Facts on HSPs:
*HSP’s make up 15-20% of the population; 70% are introverts and 30% are extroverts. Both men and women can have the trait.
*It is an innate trait, something we’re born with and it isn’t ‘fixed’. Although for a time, it was considered ‘bad’ by doctors and psychiatrists, as we’re more prone to addiction, chronic health issues, and suicide.
-Although, this is all due to chaotic, stressful and/or neglectful upbringings.
*We’re very ‘sensitive’ to our emotions, bodily functions, the atmosphere we’re in, and the people we’re around. Background noises, like cars running or fridge hums, drive us nuts.
*We value cooperation over competition, have a love for art/nature, are self-reflective/self-aware, compassionate, deep conversationalists, deep thinkers, love novelty, etc. So we stand out in a society that likes shallow chit chat, big groups, competition/hierarchy, etc. We can be rejection sensitive too.
*What’s more, we can feel out of place because most other people value surface-level friendships and not deep, cemented ones which HSPs value.
*We can become people pleasers/codependents and make excellent targets for narcissists and emotional vampires. These people are the antithesis to HSPs, who take no interest in anyone but themselves.
*We have a low-stress threshold, have a tendency to worry/stress, and we’re perfectionistic. We often have a brain that won’t shut off at night and if we had stressful upbringings that can impact sleep as well.
*We’re also more likely to have a negative effect, meaning we’re more prone to negative thinking. Although, this can be a result of living with parents/caregivers who were themselves stressed, anxious, and/or depressed.
This, in combination, all leads to a pain friendly body.
My Early Life:
My mother was an adult child of an alcoholic (ACOA) and was a single working mother.
She went through a divorce from my father when I was two and then he died of a heart attack when I was three. That’s two Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) scores there.
We moved a lot when she went back to school full time and then when she found work, so every two years, between age 2 and 12, it meant a new house, new school, and new friends. I was bullied a lot too, but highly sensitive people are prone to being bullied, especially as children.
Moving a lot and being bullied aren’t included in the ACE score, but they should be as they interrupt the healthy development of children.
Talk about a super stressful upbringing for an HS child.
Also, I discovered in 2019 that I was parentified by her and experienced childhood emotional neglect as well. I learned that she was emotionally immature and possibly narcissistic, although these aren’t surprising considering her past.
Positivity and Self-compassion
I try to remain positive, despite trying most things out there that are supposed to help to alleviate symptoms and not getting the result I wanted. I’ve emailed a fibro coach during a free consultation and she had some insights: like maybe try to take a break from finding a remedy and take that pressure off yourself. Sometimes we need space and time to stumble upon something else that might work better.
Another thing to have is self-compassion. I’m going through a lot currently, and the covid business is just the icing on the cake.
-Unemployment./boredom despite qualifications (and all this knowledge I’m accumulating).
-Relying on mother financially
-Living somewhere I don’t want to live because it’s cheap
(it’s great during a pandemic, but otherwise, it’s not where I want to be)
-Dealing with fibro and not being able to move/work/travel
-Having zero IRL friends (FB friends have kids/jobs/live out of town/don’t understand fibro)
-No extended family (dead/live out of tow/estranged)
That’s a lot of mental pressure there at one time and anyone in my situation now would feel the way I do: frustrated, tired, bored, resentful, and disappointed.
Therapists…
I’ve tried to find therapists, but the covid thing isn’t helping and anyways, therapists are useless in this situation.
They can’t give you a job, a big cheque, a few good friends, and help you move to a big house in the city, now can they? Those things would make me super happy. As well as a series of hot stone massages, foam rolling sessions, and aquacise sessions free of charge.
Right now, I’m just happy to be able to write guest posts, try to write a novel (which I can’t seem to finish), cuddle my cat, enjoy social media, listen to music, study astrology and numerology, and watch tarot readings on Youtube. I also like to learn more about things.
I hope 2022 is the year things really change and I finally make a move, get some money flowing in and make that post-covid, post fibro trip I’ve been dreaming about.
Thank you for sharing your fibro story with my readers, Jade. I hope that life improves for you soon. And I really hope you manage to finish writing that novel!!
Jade Bald is from Ontario, Canada. She is a history graduate from Laurentian University and a cat mom. She has written for over twenty blogs and penned over forty guest posts.
Her website is: jadebaldwriter.weebly.com.
Pinterest: @northernwriter
Twitter: @jade_bald
More information about fibromyalgia can be found on the NHS website.
I’m home.. oh I’m home finnaly with people who believe what they cannot see.
Hi Mary,
It’s so difficult when you’re dealing with an invisible condition, isn’t it?
Take care,
Liz
This is fantastic. It’s interesting to see Jade dig a little deeper to learn more about being an HSP, which I think I am also.
I’m glad she was able to speak to a fibromyalgia coach even if just briefly because I’ve personally found that someone else, esp. with a bit of authority like a coach or therapist, telling you to rest and take pressure off yourself can have an impact. It’s just different when someone else, external to our lives, tells us this and treats us with some compassion. Like we’re given the go-ahead and permission to rest or to not feel as “bad” about ourselves and our situation because we’re doing the best we can. I can’t take my own advice because I’m a big hypocrite, and I imagine there are a lot of us with chronic conditions that are too harsh on ourselves or put too much pressure on ourselves.
I love Jade’s honestly with her situation, like being unemployed, relying financially on her mother, having no IRL friends etc. These things come with a lot of stigma. I don’t rely on my parents financially at all but I still live with them age 33 and have felt awful about it every day, even though we get on well and like housemates. Saying you don’t work is, I think, one of the most difficult things for me. I tried to go self-employed doing bits of writing and had to admit recently that I couldn’t do it, not even that small bit compared to the work I used to do. There’s a lot of shame and embarrassment around issues of money, work, lifestyle etc when you live with a health condition or other disability. It’s refreshing to see someone being so open with it and we feel less alone in our own situations that way.
Jade – I really do hope 2022 is kind to you and that there are some positives just around the corner 💜
Caz xx
“I can’t take my own advice because I’m a big hypocrite, and I imagine there are a lot of us with chronic conditions that are too harsh on ourselves or put too much pressure on ourselves.” ~ We’re so good at dishing it out, aren’t we?
Jade’s story really is so honest and I’m sure that helps other people to know they’re not the only ones in that situation. You often do feel like that, especially when you’re young. I can remember back to earlier years after retiring from work. One of the hardest parts was when people asked where I worked. I felt so embarrassed and sometimes wanted to just lie. I didn’t owe anyone an explanation but somehow felt obliged to give one.
We need honesty in this world. We don’t deserve embarrassment or shame.
Thanks so much for commenting, Caz.
thanks you all for kind replies!
Thank YOU for sharing your story!
What an interesting story Jade and your research is even more interesting as I think many of us can allude to what you say about being HSP’s, thank you for sharing.
It was a great post, Rachael, wasn’t it?
Thanks for commenting.